People often tell me “I’m wise beyond my years”
I never really knew what they meant.
I mean I was a completely normal innocent teenage girl who was in school one day then I was scooped up & put into a hospital full of adults, full of adult things the next day.
But what people don’t know, is that I know how to talk to doctors, I know how to talk to parents, I know how to act in front of different people.
But if you put me in a room full of other 16 year olds, I would be just like them.
People forget that..
They forget that I’m just a 16 year old girl.
People often times expect me to act a certain way or be a certain way..
They expect me to be strong all the time, brave all the time.
I’m not, I cry just like everyone else.
I’m not brave all the time, or strong all the time either.
I’m human.. Not this super hero..
I cry, I scream, I fall apart.
I have days where I really feel like I just need to cry..
I’m just like every other teenage girl. I like makeup, magazines, I like shopping, I love to have fun, I’m a little boy crazy sometimes….
I’m not an adult like people portray me as.
I know how to act adult like though, I know how to talk to adults. I’ve been around very adult things and I’ve heard and seen things that make me able to talk like an adult.
And I’m mature because I’ve had to be, I know a lot of adult things & I know things most teenagers do not.
I’m more like an adult in the way I look at problems and situations, I’ve found myself when other teenagers haven’t yet.
I just don’t want anyone to ever ever think I’m strong all the time or I never cry or I’m “so perfect” because I’m not.
I cry. I fight with my brothers. I’m not perfect whatsoever. I sometimes block people out if I’m sad,
I cry when I’m mad. I don’t handle everything perfectly and I am not all sunshiney all the time. I roll my eyes, I shrug my shoulders, I act like a teenager. Because I am one.
I don’t want anyone to treat me differently because I’m “wise beyond my years”
What I mean by this is, I don’t want to be talked to like I’m an adult. I’m a kid. Just a kid. I may be different than some teenagers, but I like to be treated as I am.. A 16 year old girl.
One time I was having a melt down and someone made a remark something like this.. “After all she’s been through… She’s crying over this!?”
I can cry when I think I need to! I sometimes actually cry over really dumb things…what human doesn’t cry!!!?
I usually cry over things that are small.. But when it comes to bigger things I don’t cry.
I don’t want to be looked at as a super hero.
I’m a regular person who just deals with this life I have.. That’s all, really..
I can’t make Transverse Myelitis to away, I can’t make my legs work, I can’t make my adrenal glands work, I can’t make my back healthy, I can’t stop these things from happening..
I can’t make this all go away..As much as I’d love to, I can’t.. All I CAN do is just keep living my life as I am.
I’m the same Alex I’ve always been.. The weird, quirky, “won’t stop moving”, loud, dramatic, laughy girl.. I’m still me.
I’m just like you..
I just get around a little different, this doesn’t make me a super hero.
I have no other choice but to just keep moving along and keep dealing with all the things I’m given. It’s that simple.
I’m 16. Not a super hero.