3 years. 1095 days. 156 weeks. 3 years since I’ve been able to run, jump, skip, feel the earth underneath me, stand in the shower, walk to school, run down the stairs and kick my brothers…
1096 days ago I was untouchable. I was healthy, I could walk, run and there was never anything that could ever make anyone think otherwise..
1095 days ago the “sad story on the news” Became me. The “random, rare neurological disorder stricken teen” was now me.
I was walking that morning and next thing I knew I was in the hospital getting MRI’s, lab work, central lines, plasmapheresis, lumbar punctures, IVIG, being catheterized, having blood clots, getting IVS, wearing compression stockings, leg braces, spending weeks on end in the hospital, Physical therapy, Occupational therapy and the things I could do without thought, now took more thought and energy than you could ever imagine.
The day before I could sit up, then the next, I needed 2 people holding me up from the front and the back of me. I needed a tilt table to even stand upright. I needed a wheelchair to move around.
My entire life changed in 5 minutes and that little innocent 14 year old girl had NO idea.
She had absolutely no clue.
She wasn’t even scared. She didn’t even KNOW. She was confused. She was angry but not scared..She thought it was temporary. Why wouldn’t it be? Why would she be paralyzed for more than a week?
“Doctors can cure anything” Right?
Why would she need a wheelchair as her way to get around?
She was perfectly healthy?
She was ALWAYS safe?
She was in gym class, just yesterday?
Why would something ever bad happen to her?
What’s a paraplegic? And was she one?
I can talk for hours about all that I’ve lost. I can talk about all the pain I’ve felt, all the things I’ve seen on the 6th floor of Connecticut Children’s Medical Center and all that I’ve been through but I don’t want to remember this day as a “bad day” this day isn’t bad. This day is the day I became who I’ve meant to be.
Transverse Myelitis : you have tested my entire being. You have tested my faith, my strength, my patience and everything in between. You have hurt me not only physically but mentally too.
You took my legs, you took the freedom of standing and running.
But you NEVER touched my soul not even slightly, you NEVER took my happiness. You didn’t ever take my smile.
You tried to ruin my life, but all that you really did was change me. You wanted to change me for the worst. But you sure didn’t.
Because of you, I look at this world so much differently. I go outside and breath in the air so much more deeply than before. I appreciate the colors of the sky so much more. I enjoy the sound of laughter and the smell of grass more than anyone ever could. I wake up everyday and take a deep breath and say, “Thank Goodness. I’m alive.”
You brought the people to me that I’ve always needed.
You’ve given me opportunities that I would never of dreamed of without you.
Because of you, I’ve become who I was always destined to be.
Thanks to Transverse Myelitis, I’m me. I’m a 17 year old girl that can’t walk.
But I CAN do so many things.
Transverse Myelitis.. You thought
you could take away my light… But all you did was give me my chance to shine brighter than I ever would’ve been able to without you..
So joke’s on you. You didn’t ruin me. You formed me. Thank you for the horrible days. They only make the wonderful days ten times better.
Transverse Myelitis, I thank you for letting me get here.. 3 years, 156 weeks and 1095 days later. Stronger and brighter than ever.