It’s not over.

Almost 3 years ago a girl that I’ve known all my life said to me, “you know… you will never drive. You can’t do anything really. That must really suck to think of, huh?”
At the time I was brand new to being in a wheelchair. I knew she was wrong, but I just didn’t say anything. I just looked at her until she realized what she said had hurt me.
Little does she know how big of a fire she lit in my heart.
She has no idea what I’ve done since that day. I have exceeded all expectations. Even my own.
I have lived a much more full life in a wheelchair then I ever did walking.
In the last 3 years I’ve done multiple 5ks, one being a run or dye, I’ve went swimming in 15 feet water, I’ve lied on a beach, went down slides at the park, went on the swings, have been on hikes, I’m learning to drive very soon, 2 weeks ago. I went zip lining, I have been on TV, on the radio, swam with dolphins, I have danced more passionately than ever, I have laughed so hard and have loved so deep.
And through this all, my mind has always come back to the girl telling me “I can’t do anything.”
Something she has completely forgot she said, is drilled in my mind and motivates me every single day to GET UP and get pushing.
I thought I couldn’t go zip lining. That it would be too hard. It was difficult, but that didn’t matter the second I let go and went with no help, by myself, free.. Free, something I haven’t felt in years. The feeling of being free is an emotion, I can’t quite explain. It was a feeling that caused a huge lump in my throat, and happy tears. I went and did something that I thought was completely out of question for me. I am the first person in a wheelchair to ever zip line in Oahu Hawaii.
I love when people underestimate me, seeing the looks on there faces after they see what I can really do is priceless.
I can choose to let Transverse Myelitis define me, confine me, outshine me, OR refine me.
I can also choose to move on from my struggles and leave them behind me. I won’t forget my past, ever BUT I will GROW from it.
Next I’m planning on going either bungee jumping, sky diving or even rock climbing. I plan on living my life the fullest I can possible, despite ANY setbacks. I promise you, at the end of my life not one person will say I missed out on anything. Ever.
Without my Make A Wish trip I would’ve never of gotten the opportunity to go to the most beautiful place on earth, Hawaii. I wouldn’t have swam with dolphins, or went zip lining. How do you thank someone for that? For helping me more than anyone else could have.
Through out my Make A Wish journey I have grown so much as a person in just a few short months. I had been in a rut for a few months, I was in pain everyday and I didn’t have much motivation, I still did what I had to do and laughed often but it wasn’t anything like I am now. Even though I am in pain everyday, I learned I can push through it. I can do it. I have so much motivation now. I have almost all A’s in school, I just want to do everything I have ever wanted to do now. I learned that I 100% want to help other people. I want to help other people feel the joy I do when I do things I never thought I could’ve even dreamed of.
My trip may be “over” but it’s not really. My journey is only just starting. I never really thought of the future. I was scared to. I didn’t know what would happen day to day. Now I’m so excited for my life to begin. I’m so excited to have more laughs, have more adventures, to drive, to go to college, to have a beautiful house one day.. To just live and be so overwhelmingly happy. Even though I still don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, I can still live for today. Because everyday that I am alive and well is a great day.

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16 thoughts on “It’s not over.

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  1. Alex, you are so inspirational! I know you don’t like hearing that, but you are. I love reading your blogs and I love that your determination and perseverance push you to be able to continue to do what you want to do. Don’t every change girl!

  2. Alex,
    You just gave me chills and happy tears! Please, keep writing! You don’t know the difference you are making to me and many others. . . . . .

    I knew that you were an exceptional young woman the first day that I met you arriving at the High School. You got off the van with such a strong determination to get to class on your own. No matter how people pestered to help you; you politely refused. You calmly stated, “I can do it myself!” and “I know where I am going.” Obviously you did; and still do now. You are determined to go where no one expected you to go; above and beyond any earthly limitations!

    You are in the middle of an amazing journey! You are using every bit of your strength and potential and that of all the remarkable people in your life! You have been encouraging and motivating so many people; even people that you don’t personally know!

    I am sure you have had many ‘moments’ and yet, you do not dwell on them or waste your time to carry on with ‘Pity Parties’. I’m sure that I am not alone in wishing that you did not have to encounter them or deal with all the pain that you have had to endure. Please know that when you are going through one of these trials, that there are many people who carry you in their hearts, thoughts and prayers. We believe in your spirit to not only withstand and survive, but to flourish and thrive — in spite of all that you have had to face.

    You have gone on to show others in similar situations how to (I won’t say accept but to) acknowledge what has come your way and face TM (and the struggles that come with it) straight on; fighting fiercely to not let it define you or even become more than a speed bump in your life. This, in itself, is a tremendous accomplishment and gift to others. And….you have done it with the dignity and grace that many women much older than you would never be able to find.

    I cannot imagine what wondrous and amazing adventures are in your future! I do know that based on what I have seen and heard so far, many people will be in much better places because of what you have done and will continue to do in the future!

    Look out world!….(On land, sea or air!)…..here she comes!!!!!!

    1. I honestly have no idea how to thank you. This is the nicest and most heart felt thing I have EVER been told in my life. I absolutely adored you the day I met you & still do today. Thank you so very much. Honestly this means more than I can say and I really appreciate it. Thank you again. Hope to see you soon! <333333333

  3. Hi Alex, love your blog but even more your determination and positive attitude. You have accomplished so many more things than some do their whole lifetime. If you are ever bored (which it sounds like you never are but) YouTube Eckhart Tolle and listen to some of his interviews. He is all about living in the now as there is only now, the past is gone the future is not here. I think you will find it very inspirational. Keep on blogging and adventuring and I will continue to read and cheer you on!! You go girl!!! xo

  4. You are such a beautiful young lady!
    You don’t know me but I know your dad through my brother.
    Your story has touched me all I can say your a STRONG INSPIRING YOUNG LADY!

  5. As always, your writing and your sentiments are both beyond awesome, Alex. I totally agree that there is nothing like being told that you can’t do something to provide motivation for proving them wrong. You accepted what you’ve been given and reached excellence with it. I know that you have become a role model for many thousands.

    I also agree that Hawaii is fabulous! I’ve been twice to Oahu and once to Maui.

  6. Alex, I just want to tell you that even after just reading your blog that I think you have one of the most amazing souls, which is very rare to come across. I can only imagine the joy you bring to others around you and anyone who comes across your path, which sounds like a pretty kickass path! I don’t know if I can say kickass on here. Anywho, hold on to that spirit girl, you inspire people.

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